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Here are some comments. (I have Photoshop CS5, which is around 10 years old.)

• When you created your layer mask and it was "backwards", instead of deleting the mask you could have inverted it, which would have flipped the black and white areas and resulted in what you originally intended.
• I followed your steps above. When I attempt to drag the layer mask to the trash can, a window pops up asking me if I want to delete the mask or apply the mask. In Photoshop CS5, I'm forced to choose one of those options. If I choose "apply", then it alters the layer itself to make it look like it did while the mask was active. I wonder if, in your version of Photoshop, that "apply" setting is somehow the default setting.
• If I right-click on the mask and choose Delete Layer Mask, then the mask is simply deleted and no red shows through.