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Personally, as far as I'm concerned this is a BUG.  It should work the OTHER way.  Dragging to the trash means delete it.  Period.  Fiddling with the context menu SHOULD be the one that gets the dopey dialog popup. 

Fortunately, the "fix" is pretty simple, though annoying 'cause you have to turn all the warnings back on....  Add a layer mask.  Drag it to the trash.  Click don't show again THEN select DELETE.  Now create the layer mask again, create a second layer mask (the vector mask).  Drag THAT one to the trash, tell it not to show again, Delete.  Now if you drag the layer mask to the trash it apparently REMEMBERS you want to delete the mask.  I have no idea if this will persist through sessions, reboots and/or updates, but at least I know WHAT happened and MAYBE have a way to prevent this particular thing from happening in the future...

thanks for the help.